Fire the Media Planner Mr Tax Man (and yourself while you're at it)

Here's some really clever, bright media planning!
It's just great to see my taxes going towards useless, failed advertising campaigns with no strategy or planning.
The Valuation Office Agency, (an offshoot agency from HM Revenue & Customs), launched a new online advertising campaign this week urging consumers to "check it, not chuck it" when they receive an important VOA letter over the next few weeks.

In other (totally unconnected, of course) news, the much talked about postal strike is going ahead.

Major planning fail.

War of the Roads

Buses. Motorbikes. White Van Men. Pedestrians. Prius drivers.
The streets of London are at war, there's a vicious circle of hatred amongst London road users and by far the worst combination is the motor car vs. the bicycle. It's like roads in London were designed for us to share this mutual dislike for one another, lanes come ago, 3 lanes, 1 lane, 2 lanes, bus lane, no entry, one way system. And then you appear, in your car and a cyclist takes one look at you in your shiny black Audi with your pinstripe suit and they seem rather too pleased to give you the two finger salute.

This morning, I really tried to make an effort, the kind of effort you make when you're stuck in a lift with Katie Price, or worse still, Germaine Greer.
I thought come on, give them a chance; cyclists are trying to get to work just like you. I got 1 mile out of Fulham and already they were at it, cutting me up, racing from lights (despite being vastly slower) and being generally unpleasant like little ants, but those big red ones that bite. I'm not surprised by their behaviour, I'd be rather pissed off if I had to cycle around in an illuminated top with skin tight PVC pants on too. I'd be pissed off on a bike full stop.

This continued all the way through Knightsbridge and then, picture the scene, one of London's crumbly Victorian water mains has failed, the streets of Mayfair are now more like mini rivers and some bright-liberal-lesbian-probably-called-Debra pulls out on her bicycle (on her red light), you swerve, avoiding her but showering an idle chav pedestrian (complete with Kappa shell suit would you believe) with fresh, brown road water. The chav is angry, you prey for green lights all the way up the street before he starts kicking your car. Your luck improves and you cut a dash towards Regent St. As for the Debra the lesbian on the bicycle? She's long gone.

People of London: engage your brain, think about others and let's all drive, ride and walk with a little bit more respect for each other and perhaps we'll all get along just that bit better and a bit quicker.

5 a day

On a health kick in the months leading up to Christmas...here's my 5 a day fruit and veg.

Why must you fill my fridge with lies...

Newsflash: an advert lied, shock horror, could there be such a greater crime?
Well yes, the fact Actimel tastes horrible too.

Anglo-American Language Lessons

Having just returned from sunny, if a little hazy Los Angeles, my poor lost and forgotten blog looks little cobwebbed.
I've found myself in that strange limboland of being far too American for London, and a little too British for the U.S.
Take my jetlagged trip to the grocery store or supermarket, I couldn't find bagels or viteamin wadduh, as they call it vitamin water in this strange backwater called Fulham. Then there was the commute to work on the subway or Tube, the actual act of having to take public transport was firstly horrific on the senses and then secondly a rather weird experience, it even had me pining for the rush hour traffic on the 405, which can only be described as the better of two evils.